*haus of danger*

happily-hatemarried:

what if instead of laughing we just screamed “HUMOR” when we thought something was funny

(Source: huntress-wizard, via veqan)

tltty:

k1mkardashian:

tltty:

how do penises even fit in pants

you have to tuck it in your butthole 

thank you

(Source: hungarian, via gravityy)

a beginner's guide to new zealand for uncultured shitlords

• Auckland: where most of the shit in the country happens, the skytower (which isn't actually all that tall) and insane road-raging drivers. also a shitty theme park. volcano central.
• Wellington: parliament shit, capital city of the country. also a building that is supposed to be a beehive and looks more like a dalek, all the 'cool hipsters' live here because its expensive and classy. Bad weather, it rains sideways sometimes
• Rotorua: smells constantly of rotten eggs and is really the only place in the north island with interesting shit going on.
• Hobbiton: actually a place where the shire was filmed with a pub you can drink at and take tours around
• Taupo: it used to be a volcano that shit itself so hard it literally collapsed in on itself and is now a lake that people cycle around
• Waiheke Island: everyone here has dreadlocks and is slightly weird as a requirement
• Hamilton: the chlamydia capital of new zealand. seriously just don't ever go here ever.
• Napier: used to be earthquake central, used to have dolphins, used to have a lot of shit it doesnt have anymore
• Christchurch: new earthquake central. just a fuckload of earthquakes.
• Invercargill: cold as fuck and nobody really cares
• Queenstown: generally the best place to holiday because of snow and the southern alps for people who actually do physical activity
• Gore: lol who the fuck cares, sheep and rednecks
• Dunedin: probably the only normal place in this entire fucking country
• Stewart Island: the fuck is this
• Southern Alps: basically any snowy mountain scene you see in the lord of the rings movies
• The Entirety of New Zealand: sheep. sheep fucking everywhere. we aren't kidding you.
• Nationality: we are kiwis. kiwi is a nationality, it is also a tiny flightless bird and the fruits you uncultured swines are called kiwifruits.

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